During my years as a reptile department manager at a local pet store, I met countless people that I might refer to simply as “characters”. I think pet stores have (or had) a special way of attracting society’s idiosyncrasies. I’d seen them all. Leather-clad motorcyclists, metalheads, and adults that cosplayed as Japanese cartoon characters. But some of these customers would never stand out in a crowd. Among these, was a man named Roger.
I met Roger rather unceremoniously sometime around 2004. He was an imposing man, in his mid fifties and standing at least a full six inches taller than me. I could tell that he visited the store after he got off of work because he was always well-dressed - button-down shirt tucked into his slacks, and with a slight Santa belly. He would later tell me that he was a Marine Corps veteran and had spent time serving in Vietnam. His neat composure, therefore, was no surprise.
Like many customers, he started out as a loiterer. He would frequently stop in and just look at all of our reptiles and amphibians. It didn’t take long before Roger went from being a loiterer to a talker. And talk he did. Roger became friendly with all of the employees at the store with the exception of Tony, the owner, and that’s just because Tony was all business and wasn’t ever a chatter during business hours unless you had money to spend (and even then, not always). In fact, Roger spent so much time hanging around and talking that Tony would begin to work at his nervous pace, indicating to the others that maybe we should get to work and stop amusing this guy.
Before long, Roger began to seriously consider having a snake as a pet. He saw me as an expert on the topic and picked my brain quite a bit. He was an active listener and an engaged speaker. However, much to Tony’s dismay, Roger never purchased a snake from the store, but that was only because he wanted to skip the entry-level species and jump into the giant pythons. And we rarely carried those. Against my recommendations, Roger obtained a young Burmese python as his first snake. He bought it from the Chicago Reptile House down in Orland Park, in part because he liked and respected the owner, who also was a Marine veteran. I congratulated him, but it was clear to me that he may have been over his head.
Roger loved that snake, and soon afterward he purchased another. And another. And soon he had acquired a large collection of Burmese pythons and other large snakes. By this time, he knew that he had to pay his dues for visiting so often so he began to buy things like heat lamps and food for his snakes. He really loved to talk snakes with me, and oftentimes snake talk would segue into other topics. At one point he suggested that I date his daughter who he said was “about (my) age”. It took me telling him that I was already spoken for two or three times before he could be convinced that his idea wasn’t going to work. Well then!
Just as I predicted, Roger soon realized that his eyes were bigger than his bank account, and he needed to unload some snakes. He first offered me a coastal carpet python. I have no idea when or where he acquired this snake, but I did know that this was THE longest carpet python I had ever laid my eyes upon. Long, but thin. I kept the snake for a short time and couldn’t get it to accept food, so I gave it to a friend who specialized in Australian pythons. Next up, an adult yellow anaconda with a typical yellow anaconda attitude. Each time I saw Roger walking across the parking lot toward the store I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. What else was it going to be?
Then one evening, Roger popped into the store, sweating, rambling on about how one of his big Burmese pythons had wrapped around a towel in its cage and wasn’t letting go. I asked why there was a towel in the cage. Roger flashed an unconvincing shrug of his shoulders and asked, “Do you think you could come over and get the towel out of the cage?”
“Tonight?”
“If you can, I’d really appreciate it, Joe.”
So there I was, at 10:00 at night, entering Roger’s apartment on the northwest side of Chicago. It was a small, dark, bachelor-style apartment, surprisingly unkempt. Roger led me to the snake room. There, he kept large pythons in six-foot long Vision cages. The cages were filthy and the water bowls were parched. Clearly, he was struggling to properly maintain these animals (which is exactly why I was trying to sell him the idea of owning a corn snake or sand boa in the first place). Roger pointed out a large green Burmese python in the lowest cage in the stack. “See? It’s wrapped up in the towel and I can’t get it out”.
I cringed. It wasn’t a towel, it was a large clutch of eggs. What was Roger trying to pull?
“Roger, those are eggs.”
Roger once again improvised a look of surprise. “Ohh, well, what am I supposed to do with those? Will you take them?”
Maybe it was the pungent aroma of urates wafting out of the cage getting to me, but I did agree to take the eggs. Removing a clutch of eggs from a large, protective mother python in a very tight space is not for the faint of heart, but I got them all out in short order and put them in the only thing we could find - a garbage bag. I drove home that night all the while attempting to process what the hell just happened.
When I got home, all of the eggs were placed into a big Rubbermaid container in a warm area, and that’s where they stayed. Over the next few visits to the store, Roger seemed to have a change of heart. “If those eggs hatch, I’ll let you pick a couple if you want.” Ha! Roger would never know what really happened to those eggs.
One day I looked inside the bin, and saw that some of the eggs were pipping (beginning to hatch). Frankly, I was surprised, after everything they had been through. About two days later, every single egg in that clutch - all 57 of them - hatched. And now I was faced with the big question - what am I going to do with these? Fortunately, I had an acquaintance at the time willing to take the whole litter. I didn’t think about it at the time, but, looking back, I hope they all found good homes.
As for Roger? Well, he continued to stop in the store, but instead of clearing out all of our basking bulbs, he’d buy a few. Then it became clear that he was burning out, and some developing health issues forced him to rehome all of his snakes. He seemed unhappy about it. His mental health appeared to decline, and one day he walked out, never to be seen again. I felt bad, because he always meant well.
While preparing to write this, I discovered that Roger passed away in 2022. Later photos indicated that he was in good spirits, which made me happy. He was referred to as an animal lover in his obituary, and I for one cannot deny that.